its soo long. yea life? it currently sucks. if youre despising me now cause im emo, i advise you to go now. yea sigh. the last weekend was spent in labuan. my mom had to preach in a church there so yea. the dog below was a lost dog. it just came to my house and started crying.
okay it has been long since i really posted about my true feelings. i feel like shit. since the breakup, i feel like every reason to smile has been sucked away. i love him. no matter how bad ppl say he is or how bad he really is, i still do love him. its crazy i know. even until now, i still have the same feeling. friends tell me that it will be over soon but its definitely not going away. the feeling of wanting to but cant. one word, depressing. im telling myself to forget about him after all the things he did but it has almost been a year, im still feeling the same feeling i had when we were together. *slaps face. i literally did all i could to erase him- shouted at him, tried hating him, declared war with him, cried until there wasnt anymore tears and even spending a month in Aust just so i could clear my head and not bump into him here. and no i dont think hes a jerk, in fact, i think hes the nicest guy ive met, even after all the things he did. sigh. pretending to be okay and putting on a smile is really tiring. its turning me into a fake person. a person i dont even know anymore. i miss him so much that im willing to do so much to see him. i just miss him so so much.
i miss you.
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