with all i am.

 heyyy.

i got so many things to do that i really dont know where to start. i have this weird feeling. its like in the midst of happiness, some things start to shatter. maybe there is really no lasting happiness. the tiredness is already a sickness that is stuck in me, im trying to hold on. just holding on. 

my sis got back from sandakan, she gave me an awesome pressie ;)

 rest in peace grandma :'(

im trying my best to cherish the time now :/

have you ever had this feeling as though things are getting harder and harder every time? this feeling is back, im about to loose my friend, the stress of IS night, everyone is depending on me when i cannot even trust myself, my grandma, the pressure my mother puts on my education, the feeling like im about to disappoint everyone. every bit of my energy is drained out. im taking deep breaths all the time. i want to go swimming and act dead. 

everyone is assuming that i will leave, no i dont have the heart to :/ you guys just dont get it, i love everyone here. i used to hate it, but ive found something that i cherish more. I LOVE YOU GUYS, esp you korean, pigggg, my monkey, my wifeee and you. yes i dont show it but i hate this trying to mask the disappointment and anger and hurt. i hate coming home thinking about everything until my head hurts. i hate being afraid of making decisions. i hate trying to swallow back the tears. 

im about to burst.

donate, save a life!

 WOW I DONATED BLOOD! :DD

today is like a historic day for me. haha no it didnt really hurt that much lah, and it was fun doing it with everyone else ;) let the pictures explain all. btw the pictures were taken by a lot of people (its actually for the school but they use my cam) so credits to all of them! :D and meee lahhh :DD

most of my friends donated ;) dont have a picture of nigel donating, too early and fast his blood flow, couldnt find a cam. haha 

 i learned how to see the blood types! :D

 waiting for alyssa's and my turn ;) the rest already donated.

 support from everyone! awwww <3

 take a look at his veins! :O

 it was fun to see the people's reaction :))))

i look tired and horrible but anyways <3

lately my parents are happy especially my dad :DDD haha im gonna take advantage of this until its over. haha

i put my hands up in the air sometimes, saying AAAEEEYOOOOO

 THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHINGGGGG :DD

never had i feel this happy and excitedddd. and tears of joy and happiness. feels like a burden is lifted off my shoulders. i have never thought of getting such results, sure enough, its by the blessing and grace of God. yeap i loveeee thiss feelinggg. i know its gonna end soon cause now its A levels! :/ 

so basically we have to go to school that morning (IS) so we went but no one had the mood to listen during lecture so the lecturers let us off earlyyy :) take a look at leong's drawing, i was like =.= when i looked at it. i thought it was fishes, but actually its the airport. haha 

:DDDD i asked leong to come up quickly cause lecture started and thats what he said XD

no one had the mood to study or listen. haha

leng zaiiii oh leong :P

 then it was offff to ALL SAINTS :D

 being able to celebrate and share the moment with my babes made it even more GREAT <3

 celllleebraattttteeeee! sorry ah chung i take your pics XD

 <3 wishhh steph was here :/

 <3

 he did great too <3 im proudddd of him!

 i loveeeee my polaroid coloured films! haha if you guys want to give me gifts, buy me thisssss. CHEH XD

 like kidsss. haha look at the way leong sits =.= too long his legs.

i want to watch the vow and hunger games! and go on a date :D chung, you promise meeeee :))))