Monday, March 26, 2012

with all i am.

 heyyy.
i got so many things to do that i really dont know where to start. i have this weird feeling. its like in the midst of happiness, some things start to shatter. maybe there is really no lasting happiness. the tiredness is already a sickness that is stuck in me, im trying to hold on. just holding on. 

my sis got back from sandakan, she gave me an awesome pressie ;)

 rest in peace grandma :'(




im trying my best to cherish the time now :/





have you ever had this feeling as though things are getting harder and harder every time? this feeling is back, im about to loose my friend, the stress of IS night, everyone is depending on me when i cannot even trust myself, my grandma, the pressure my mother puts on my education, the feeling like im about to disappoint everyone. every bit of my energy is drained out. im taking deep breaths all the time. i want to go swimming and act dead. 
everyone is assuming that i will leave, no i dont have the heart to :/ you guys just dont get it, i love everyone here. i used to hate it, but ive found something that i cherish more. I LOVE YOU GUYS, esp you korean, pigggg, my monkey, my wifeee and you. yes i dont show it but i hate this trying to mask the disappointment and anger and hurt. i hate coming home thinking about everything until my head hurts. i hate being afraid of making decisions. i hate trying to swallow back the tears. 
im about to burst.

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